Every time I fell, I stood up, holding on to these ideas.

My story is similar to so many others written here. Similar pains, alike families… I find myself in most of the stories here. I wish we were not talking or writing these. Before reading this blog, I used to think I was alone, but I was not.

I am 17 years old, I wear a headscarf and have no religion. When I wanted to get rid of the headscarf, I faced violence. Needless to write, I was devastated and lonely. Right now, I am studying for the university entrance exam. I thought of committing suicide a few months ago, and also just a few days ago. While living and not being able to “exist” under the pressure of a specific ideology, suppressing myself made me say, “Why am I actually living?”

Questioning and the internet gave me guidance in my life.

However, I kept going on with my life. I knew there were people out there whose conditions were much worse than me. But I didn’t see anyone able to speak about it. I am thankful to those who founded and supported this platform and the people who wrote and shared their stories. I am sorry to hear about all this, but I am also glad to see awareness being raised on this topic.

For the rest of my life, my wish is to study at a university far away from my family, be a good scientist, and prevent my siblings from crushing under this ignorance. Every time I fell, I stood up, holding on to these ideas.

There is only one thing I can say to people reading this now or in similar conditions, “non-existent” people; “love yourselves.” It’s because our families and others will not love us as we are. Neither religion nor anything else should be able to force us to act in a certain way just because it says “This is the truth.” Young children should not be allowed to receive religious education at very early ages. I think it is unacceptable to cover young girls’ hair until a certain age. Families can not know what they dictated to their children will hold true in the future, so religious education should not be given to young brains at an early age. This is all I wanted to write, yet there is a lot more to tell.

I wish nobody loses their self-confidence so they can live without feeling any pressure. Yet, these problems exist, so do we!

I hope to get out of this messy situation by breaking the walls of pressure with my bare hands and without losing my way.

With love…

(Image: Buried Seeds)