Being a lesbian woman wearing a headscarf was very heavy.

It is the purest form of self-expression of a person what they wear. I couldn’t express myself for years.

Being a lesbian woman wearing a headscarf was very heavy. I was hiding my real identity from everyone. Being gay from those who know the hijab; and my hijab from my gay community.

Of course, in real life, when a person cannot express itself, a virtual community is formed after a while. They wouldn’t even notice me if they saw me on the street, but people like me on the internet insist that I have an emotional connection with them. It was so hard to live with a double identity. I suffered a lot and pushed people away from myself because they didn’t know the “real” me. 

At the age of 16, I had covered my hair willingly. But when I was 19, I realized that it wasn’t my thing. Now I’m in the last months of my 22nd birthday, and I just got freedom. I wouldn’t think of my family as an oppressive one. After two years of incredibly difficult struggles, I realized that I was in an oppressive family. I had painful experiences.

My mother is a stranger, an enemy to me in the same house. Not only the pressure of wearing the headscarf but the comments about my appearance after taking off the hijab, don’t dress like this, don’t dress like that, don’t get a haircut, tie your hair up. Would they have the right to interfere with my appearance if I had been unveiled from the beginning? I sometimes say this is too much.

I have been on Twitter for a short time in the past years. Since I wasn’t used to expressing myself, I couldn’t be there more. But in this short time, the solidarity and struggle of women affected me very much. I felt the support of tens of women who didn’t even know about my existence. As if I spoke to you myself. None of you know me, but I found strength from your presence.

I cannot even express how much I love you, women!

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