Don’t include me in your own life, decisions, and your merits.

Actually, this is the third time I am writing on this blog. I hope my dream will have a happy ending. I am not different than you, all of us, at least the majority, have the same goals but different lives. I wish we could make our own decisions.

Regarding my life, let me briefly summarize. I am 17, I will turn 18 very soon. I will be taking the university entrance exams this year. I hope I can study what I want and where I want. My problems started when I was little, just like many of us. What can an eight-nine years old girl understand from the hijab, distancing herself from the boys and not wearing short sleeves? I wanted to be like everybody, like the girls in my environment. They were doing what they wanted, of course, they were not going back from what their families said, but here is this crucial point; family. There are some families that really astonish me; they have such empathy for their children, other people, and all of the creatures of this earth. Maybe our salvation will happen thanks to these people, but of course, us first.

My family loves me but them saying, “Allah entrusted you to us.” to my face is a bit cruel. First of all, I am their daughter and viewing me as a property that Allah has given to them is weird. I wish they were more understanding.

My father is an imam (the one who makes a living leading the prayers at the mosque), and what his community says is more important to him. His mindset is like: “Oh, no one should be talking behind us; I should be an example to all people / Muslims.” That’s okay, although I do not agree with you; it is your own opinion, so don’t include me in your own life, decisions, and merits. It is my choice, my life, my freedom.

 If I take my hijab off, and I really want to do that, I won’t be doing anything to be ashamed of. As a matter of fact, the real problem is their fear of burning in hell because of me. Why? Because according to Islam, when a man starts a family, he will be responsible for his wife’s and children’s actions. Likewise, the mother is like that, but for some reason, men are shown more dominant in religion, I am also against this. I don’t understand how can a sane person could say women and men are not equals. I am not talking about physical strength. I hope you understand me. 

I sincerely thank this platform; you have become the voice of women like us, independent women who want freedom. We are the voice of each other, and we will never be alone. I really need to talk about my problems, but my only support mechanism is reading your letters. I will also share my life where I have freedom. I hope I will have it.

Loves to all of the strong women.

(Image: Paul Klee)

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