I want to be able to love myself anymore.

Hello everyone. When I was 11 years old, I was influenced by my friends to wear hijab, and I’ve kept doing it for years. I never thought that I could think differently way back then. Now, I’m studying at university. During a couple of years, there were times that I’ve captured some sort of different emotions when I’m surrounded by my friends, yet I didn’t have the courage to speak out loud.

My therapist told me that my will to throw off the hijab causes constant obsessions to little details of life, making me depressed. She also pointed out that I was not in peace with the person I really am. After meditating on that idea, I suddenly realized that she might be right. I wasn’t happy with myself. When I opened up to my mother, she encouraged me to say that she had my back, which was very unexpected. I’m still in the process. Being supported by my mother and some of my friends makes me feel stronger, but I still fear not being able to handle with my relatives. I have a strong bond with God. I just don’t feel comfortable inside of the hijab. Lately, it’s been nothing but a piece of fabric for me, and that’s why I’m struggling to wear it. I want to be able to love myself, and this is why I’m going to do that.

(Image: André Brasilier)

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