I’m 14 years old and I don’t want it.

I was only 9 years old and I think I was in the 4th grade. I used to go to a Quran course first, then I went to school. One day, I decided that I wanted to be like the teachers at the course and said, “I want to veil.” I didn’t know what’s what, why we veiled. I told my mother; I remember that she immediately said “Okay.” That day, I went to the course that way. As expected, the teachers at the course said, “Wow, it suits you so well.” and so on. Maybe they intended well in saying this, but I wish they had told me about it even just for once. Then I went to school like that as well, I don’t remember my friends’ reactions. I continued like this for three years, without knowing how I felt, for no reason. Then I became 13 and I wanted to unveil. I told my family; of course, they said “No.” I told my mother first and apparently, she told my father.

One year has passed, I’m 14 and I still don’t want it. Of course, my mother is still not giving the response I want. I understand her too; maybe she’s doing this for me, I mean, because of hell; but right now, only my head is veiled, I still wear pants and tunics. I’m not saying that I’m going to wear shorts and go out like that when I unveil. I can properly start veiling a few years later, and I think this way is more logical. I will talk to them again once my school ends. When my mother and father make a decision, I always support them, but I don’t understand why they act like this when I make a decision.

Translator: Leto

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