I was going to an Imam Hatip School¹ when I was in middle school, which was the only reason I wore a headscarf. I was influenced by the people I met there. I covered my hair for the first time when I was in the sixth grade. My family told me that it was too early to do that, and there wasn’t any pressure on me, at least for some time. But there were only three girls who didn’t wear a headscarf in my class, and I was one of them. I decided to do that because of the negative perception created by the environment. Besides, it was an obligation for me. In any case, that day would come.

Now I am 15. It has been three years since I began wearing a headscarf. I feel regretful about this for five months. I wish I couldn’t do that. I struggle with my family because of this situation.  I was a faithful girl, but my family’s rough attitude has made me more determined. I don’t want to wear the headscarf that I decided to wear with eagerness when I was 12. I want to be free now; I want to run, have fun, and buy the dresses I like without necessarily looking for the longer ones. Is it too much? I always get negative feedback from my family, but I won’t give up. Freedom shouldn’t be that worthless, and it won’t! I couldn’t break taboos yet, but they have already broken my heart.

1. Imam Hatip schools are educational institutes in Turkey where people are trained for religious professions such as imams.

(Image: Igor Moritz)