First of all, I want to start off by telling you a little bit about me. I’m 20 years old, I’m a university student and where I study is far away from my family. My introduction to freedom starts precisely from the point of me moving out of my house too. But when I say this, please don’t think of a highly oppressive family. I wouldn’t want to scare you. But at the very least, the happiness of opening your own house’s door at whatever time you desire and the pleasure of being an individual are not the things that could happen in your dear family’s arms. This is my definition of freedom; being an individual.
When I was 14-15, I wanted to start wearing a hijab with my family’s support. Everyone around me wears the hijab, and so I felt the need to wear it too from the moment I entered puberty. My family was so happy, and I was delighted about making them happy too. This was temporary happiness. Because I was the one who was going to live this life. Since I was 5, I wasn’t raised like a person, and I was raised like a sexual object. I was ashamed of my nipples that were starting to pop out, I grew a little, and I started to not being able to open my legs up, when I talked loudly I felt everyone’s eyes on me, I had to wear things that were going to cover up my butt.
They made me feel ashamed. I was ashamed of being a woman. I didn’t choose this. But if I had a choice, despite them, I would prefer to be a woman.
All through my high school years, I wore a hijab. I felt pleasure from wearing it until the things in my head and the thing on my head opposed each other. I started not being able to say the things I wanted to say or defend the things I wanted. I was representing something, but I didn’t belong there. I wasn’t firmly in the place. I was an experimental subject made with the society’s oppression, that turned out the way they wanted. And individualistically, a considerable defeat. I lost my self-respect. I had to find myself, and I didn’t want to be a copy of my family, I was unique. I’m thinking of taking off my hijab soon, and the first thing I’m going to do is to let out my beautiful hair to the wind.
I respect homosexuals; I look out for animals’ rights to live. I argue that a woman’s voice is an instrument, and I believe in the power of the warm love that hugging a friend creates in me.
With that being said, my sisters, no matter the cost, we will celebrate the pleasure of being the people we want to be by collaborating.
Good days are close, light up the torches!
(Image: Clement Moran)