I was making lace during the day, and studying for hours at night.

When I was 16 years old, my father took me from school because I had a boyfriend. For 2 years, I did not go to even the garden of our house. They did not let me to see anybody. They imprisoned me in the house. In the house, nobody was talking to me and everybody were looking at me in disgust. When I was 17 years old I wanted money for chocolate, even that was not given. There was a neighbour coming our house, she teach me to make lace. I was making lace and gave it to her; she sold them and gave me the money. I sold a lace for 20 liras. I saved money and took books to myself. I finished the high schoold from the correspondence school, even though it was very difficult.

I would prepare to university exam, but I did not have a penny. I was making lace during the day, and studying for hours at night. I could not stop making lace, because I would be broke. By the way, I could make a lace in one week; therefore, my weekly money was like 20 liras.  Whatever, I entered the university exams. I could not earn in the first year. I was entering the exams, but my father said, “ These are in vain, I will not let you go.”. I was determined, I would escape as a last resort, but I could not earn. I cried so much… I could not stand this house one more year. But I did. In my second year, I earn a beuatiful university and a beautiful department. My father said, “ I will not let you go.”, even while the results were announcing. I would go. Whatever it would take, I would go. After 2 days, my father seemed to soften,  he was strange in a way that I did not understand why. It turned out that my 5 cousins could not earn, although they prepared the exam by going courses. I did and my department was for 4 years, therefore my father was proud. So I went to university.

Now I am both working and studying, besides I am preparing to KPSS. A am very tired but happy. Even though I lived the worst two years of my life, now everything is okay. In 17, my hair turned gray, I used antidepressants,  I was hallucinating.  I was feeling very well, when I talked to someone in my dream.  Because it had been long time since I talked to someone. Maybe it was a mistake to have a boyfriend in that age, but they should not have showed me that in this way. My father is bragging about me now. A few days ago I heard he said,  She did not want to go to schoold, she did not go to high school; I took her books, she prepared to the exam in home and earned 4 year university.”

My only wish is to be appointed. Unless that, I will be imprisoned in this house again.

Translator: Leyla B.

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