If I want to live my own way as an individual without being under anyone’s sovereignty, what will happen?

Hello, my story is like everyone here. There’s a terrifying father, a mother who obeys everything, and a girl who’s been decided on her behalf, who’s never been asked what she wants in this story.

I’ve been wearing a hijab since the beginning of the ninth grade. I’m studying at university in the third grade now, and I’ve been fighting to give up the hijab for a year. I can’t tell anyone around me; only my siblings know. When I told my mother I wanted to leave the hijab, she said: “Your heart is darkened.” When I told my father, he said: “If you get married, and you are dominated by your husband, you can do whatever you want. I won’t let you right now.” If I want to live my own way as an individual without being under anyone’s sovereignty, what will happen?

I don’t know what I should do, I don’t know how to do it, but I don’t want to wear a hijab anymore. I don’t want to look at other people’s hair, clothes and I don’t want to just dream about them anymore. I want to be free anymore. Sometimes I think my current clothes are not very suitable for Islam, and God will interrogate me for it. I don’t understand; I never understand the logic of being held accountable and interrogated for something I didn’t do with my own volition. I need to talk to someone and have a heart-to-heart talk. Please write in the comments if you want to talk. I hope that the world will be a safe place where women live freely. I hope that I’ll be free as soon as possible.

(Image: André Brasilier)

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