I was beaten when I was 10 for painting one of my nails.

I covered my hair for the love of my dad. Yes, I veiled myself so that my father, my family, my relatives, and everybody else would love me. I was a 15-years-old high school student. I wasn’t forced to veil, but the words like “you will cover your hair” were engraved into my mind. As if I was someone else; someone who tried to be different and freer from them… If you’re going to fly to freedom, you’ll have to sacrifice your wings first. Anyways, I got covered my hair 2 years ago, but only now do I realize what I have done. However, my parents were happy; the girl who wore shorts and was being slutty according to them was covered, wow! I was happy that my family loved me, but this didn’t last long; as I veiled, after around 10 days, my family’s emotions were back how they were before, that love was gone. I can say that my friend forced me into this; like my family, she too managed to manipulate me.

This issue is on my mind for a year, but I can’t speak; I can’t do it, I become speechless. Every night, I sleep thinking “I will tell them tomorrow,” but those mornings destroy me. Please help me, I don’t know what to do. When I got in the hijab, my mother told me that I would never unveil, I said “Okay.” I can’t tell my father either, because we never had a relationship in which we could have a heart-to-heart talk. When I was 10, I was beaten because I painted one of my fingers. Do you know how it was when my friends asked me “What happened to your face?” the next day? Even I didn’t know. I’ll be very happy if you help me.

(Image: Jane Newland)

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