Yes, I am one of these girls who were played to wear the hijab because of group of people who keep saying “Girl reach puberty must wear the hijab, what can we even do if our precious people who has XY chromosome become seduce by their hair?” and who start wearing the hijab in their 14. Actually, this situation is much deeper for me.
Ever since I was little, my goal has been for my parents to congratulate me on anything. It was my passion to hear the magic word, “well done.” If this need is not met at a child’s young age, if the family does not encourage her, the effects of this will emerge in different ways later. That’s why I thought they would say ‘Well done to my daughter’ when my lessons were perfect at school. I ranked number one in school, and they didn’t even say “Congratulations.” Then I tried to prove my success more by joining the Olympics and competitions, but they didn’t care about that neither. It just made them start to think like “My daughter is going to study medicine.” Don’t worry, I got over it too. Now I am studying computer science and engineering in one of the best universities in my country. Anyway, I have two older siblings, god bless them they are both religious Muslim girls with their hijab! They didn’t say to me “You must wear the hijab!” clearly, but they always make me feel that. And I said maybe wearing the hijab is the key, and one night, one month before going to high school I suddenly wore the hijab. Firs reactions were like “You can’t do it, you will take it off in a week.”, and that made me feel more ambitious and I started to high school like that.
The school I was going, was in a decent district in Istanbul and It was a school where several wealthy families sent their children to study. I was the only girl with hijab in my class. It was like all of this people were living in another land. I was so excluded in this classroom… I mean they really treated me like if I was the sheikh of a radical Islamic organization. However, I have never been like that, I was always inclined to read and research. After 5-6 months, I decided that I no longer believe, that is another subject. Anyway, my best friend was the only person who didn’t judge me and was agnostic. We are still very close and see each other frequently. The reaction in school was really hard for me to take. My interest in lessons decreased in time, in final year of high school, I study 1 more year for university exam. Good thing I waited because I took off the hijab. It is really horrible that people hate and don’t care about you just because of a fabric that covers your head.
By the way, Quran says “Cover up to your neck.” I am saying that for those who still believe. Let me say for people who says, “Community of Muslims hear me out, we should cover to our nails.” Embracing all sides is completely related to Arab culture and it is an application that passes to Arab culture from Ancient Rome. Slaves were covered in order to distinguish between free women and slaves. This is the origin of this action. Shortly, you have only one life. Pressure of parent’s needs to stop somewhere, in some situations we let it to blow out of proportion so that the fabric on our head transforms into a spider web that drowns us. Don’t do this to yourself. Freud says, one of the four major reasons behind a phycological diseases is to sacrifice their own life in order to make other people happy. The situation is that serious, my friends. There is nothing we can not question in this universe. Our mind has no limit. But there is a big problem about putting this into words in Turkey. An old saying says that, “Everyone is a prisoner of their mind, please don’t be prisoner of others mind anymore.
Translator: Ö.K.
(Image: Lucy Almey Bird)