I was subjected to the pressure at school that I had already been subjected at home.

I have been following this page for a long time. I covered up my hair intentionally in the 8th grade. My mother would never let me wear trousers, and I said, ‘’If I can’t even wear pants, then I have to cover myself’’. At that time, nobody in my family who was the same age as I was covered. My grandmother was very angry with me the day I covered; she said I was very young, but I did not listen to her because I was tired of my mother. My mother is very unpermissive; she never dressed me in the things I wanted, and when we entered a store, she liked and bought what they would buy for me. These things she bought would never be appropriate for my age.

My mother tried to send me to Imam Hatip1 in middle school, but she could not. I decided to go to Imam Hatip in high school because I thought I would be excluded from other high schools; this thought seems absurd to me now. Its name is Imam Hatip, yes, but it is empty inside. I was also exposed to the pressure I saw at home at school; no pants, everyone must wear an abaya and only black headscarf. I could not stand it, and I decided to take my headscarf off in the 3rd grade of high school. I want to take off my headscarf now. After all, I look like a timid person because I am not happy because of the headscarf. I told three people my desire to take it off; even if they found my desire wrong, they respected me. But what matters to me is my mother. My mother does not respect it. But I cannot live like that either. I do not know how to tell my mother, so I ask for your help. I do not want to go to university like someone I am not and do not feel. I do not want to take it off and cover secretly either. But I also do not want to be pressured anymore. Please advise me. Thank you.

[1] Imam Hatip schools are educational institutes in Turkey where people are trained for religious professions such as imams.

(Image: Paul Klee)

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