Would I want my daughter to make this sacrifice for her husband?

I write to encourage others. Like everyone else, I grew up in a conservative family. Even though I did not experience any pressure to wear a headscarf, I had a lot of pressure on a disguise. University is over, and I started working life. When I got a little free, I began to wear what I wanted, I met my husband, and then I thought that even more stringent rules came to my life, I loved it and I should make sacrifices. I had to wear long-sleeved clothing, tunics, or cardigans that covered the butt. Only I was not wearing a headscarf; even in the summer heat, I was wearing a thin cardigan or a long tunic.

As I was embarrassed that people were asking if there were burn marks on the arms, I said at the age of 30, “Let me wear the headscarf, let me not encounter strange questions.”

At that time, I thought the headscarf was an order of religion. I had a daughter one year after I veiled and I started questioning, would I want my daughter to make this sacrifice for her husband? I was afraid that I would sin if I take off the headscarf. Then I watched a theologian woman’s comments on the hijab; I learned that the headscarf is not necessarily religious. It is a fabricated imposition. My mother and father reacted more to my decision to unveil; I could not unveil. After one year, I went to the hospital for injection and then left the hospital without the headscarf.

My husband just looked, didn’t say anything, got into our car, said, ‘Aren’t you going to wear the headscarf?’ I said, ‘No, I’m drowning.’ I went to work the next day; my colleagues were surprised. I looked at them and laughed and said, “Oh, I forgot my headscarf at home.” Although there were confused looks for a while, nobody cared about it later. I have not been wearing a headscarf for more than two years, and I don’t wear long sleeves, I said goodbye to long tunic I wear tights, zero sleeves and everything I want. My husband is maybe angry, but I don’t ask anymore. I never let him say anything. 

Do not be afraid of, nothing happens, nobody interferes; if you don’t allow. To laugh and be happy is the medicine of everything. And we deserve it; we have one life, do not live it under the headscarf. You are not alone, be brave, do not be ashamed, do not be afraid, even if your parents do not want you, you are their child, they will somehow accept, they will get used to. Don’t delay, and it gets harder to do as you delay. If you have decided, take it off right now and take off, greet this universe that offers sun and wind for your hair! A new life is waiting for you, and everything will be much more beautiful.

(Image: Emile Nolde)

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